Hark How The Bells An XMen XMas Tale
by Rogue3XMen
Summary: Merry Christmas to all and to all, well, you know the rest. X-Mas has never been this funny.


Hark How The Bells (An X-Men X-Mas Tale)  
By: Rogue3Xmen  
  
It started out as a calm Christmas night at the Xavier Mansion. Everyone was putting up Christmas decorations and drinking hot coco. I thought nothing could be sweeter than to have my sweetie by my side. As Remy wrapped his arms around me, I had just finished putting up stockings and organizing gifts under the tree.  
Bobby made a nice ice sculpture, Hank created a nativity set, Jean lit up candles (she's the Phoenix, she can do that), Warren decorated the top of the house, Scott washed and decorated most of the cars (except his own), Logan cooked sausages, meat ball, and anything considered a protein or a meat product, Kurt ate some of the sausages while hanging over Logan's head (he was reading holiday prayers), Remy blew up cards, Jubilee. helped Remy blow up those cards, and I (the Rogue) wrote letters and made holiday cookies.  
Everyone had a job to do, until we heard some bells ringing in our ears.  
"Where are those bells coming from?" asked Hank who wanted to plug his big blue ears.  
"I don't know, but I bet I'll find out," said Logan with a growl and his adamantium claws ready to go.  
"Now, wait a second!" Jean shouted. "Someone is playing a game. Someone who's not really in this house at all."  
"Well, who could it be?" I asked just taking out the cookies from the oven. It was Professor Xavier with a whole bunch of gifts, including a whole big basket of silver bells for us to have fun with. "We wondered where those bells came from," said Jean with a smile as the man who was like a father to her came to the door. Professor Charles Xavier is the head of this house and the headmaster of Xavier's School For Higher Learning and Gifted Young. I was glad to see he came and glad to see people began to stop worrying about the bells, but my happiness only lasted a minute. "CHARLES!" yelled a voice from a far. We knew that trouble was coming to knock on our door. "The Juggernaut!" cried Jubilee to us all. We knew we were in for the long Christmas haul. "CHARLES! How dare you not invite me over for Christmas? I should crush you and squash you, just like a buy! I could smell the sausage you made from miles above!" The Juggernaut shouted and yelled as loud as he could. Oh how I wish this man went away. Most of us got into our uniforms, but most of knew we were in a family hell. Juggernaut ruined the front of the mansion. As if things couldn't get any worse, he brought Black Tom and Mystique too. Mystique had a machine gun in her right hand and Juggernaut in her left. She had Black Tom behind her breathing down her neck. Looking at all three of them made us sick to our stomachs. Jubilee and Remy began exploding cards and any other small items behind them. They had to stop when the three looked behind them. Mystique looked straight at Remy and almost wanted to kiss him. I swore I could have killed her for even thinking of such a thing. Kurt looked at Mystique, Juggernaut and Black Tom. He gave them a prayer and asked God to give him help. Professor Xavier was able to alter their thinking, only long enough for him to give them toilet paper instead. Bobby put ice on the floor and Beast gives each one of them a king from his nativity set. We told them not to ruin our Christmas day. That there'd be plenty of fun and gifts to give away! I got out the mistletoe. And gave some to everyone and told Mystique and Juggernaut that they needn't be here. Before leaving the mansion they left us a present. They toilet papered the house as destroyed the front yard. "I hope they have a Merry Christmas and a not so Happy New Year's," said Remy wishing he could have giving them one of his cards. We all went inside, with the front of the mansion half destroyed. I kissed Remy with some of the mistletoe. Jean embraced Scott and Logan wanted to blow chunks of disgust. A Merry Christmas to all and to all, well, you know. "Come here Remy and give me a kiss!" I command. "Oh, my chere! No need to be asking. Your wish is my command!" said Remy and we made love all night long.  
  
Merry X-Mas!  
  
All characters in X-Men property of Marvel Comics. 


End file.
